Planning your own funeral does not have to mean that everything is arranged down to the last detail.  It may simply mean telling your family the kind of send-off you would like - for example some people would like lots of colour and favourite songs; other people may prefer a more traditional service with hymns.

Occasionally I am asked to visit someone who is terminally ill.  We may write the eulogy or tribute and choose favourite readings and music.  We may simply talk about the funeral in general terms.  If you would prefer not to talk to anyone you can, of course, leave written guidance.  There are even websites dedicated to securely keeping your funeral wishes, like My Last Song. 

When people do feel able to talk about the kind of farewell they would like, this can be difficult for those closest to them.  However, when the time comes, it is comforting to know that you are giving your loved one the ceremony they wanted.